It happened again the other night. I had the same dream I have been having since I was in high school. I walk into American History class. It is the day of the final exam. I am not prepared. I leave my # 2 pencils at home. I didn’t study. I sit at the same desk. I am wearing the same outfit. I look up at the clock that is centered perfectly over the blackboard at the front of the room. I am at a loss as to what to do next. I am terrified. Then I wake up.
It is my classic anxiety dream. It happens when I feel overwhelmed; when I am not getting enough rest; when I feel unprepared; when I embark on new unchartered territory. Whether dream interpretation is meaningful, valid or mythical has been debated for years. But what this recurring dream triggers for me is that it is time to pay closer attention to my stress level. It can sometimes be hard to see the forest through the trees. We get knee deep in our “to do” list, in our job responsibilities, in our family obligations, in our community commitments and other issues that occupy our time that we tend to dismiss our rising stress level in an effort to get it all done.
Even though we may ignore our physical, mental and spiritual health at these times; we unconsciously send ourselves hints that signal we are in the danger zone. I was on the phone with my 78 year old Mom recently while she was at the beach and the call dropped. I tried calling her right back but it went into voice mail. After 5 minutes passed, she rang me back and said her iPhone told her that it was too hot so it shut down. I asked her what she did to get it working again and giggling, she said that she shoved it into the cooler to reduce the temperature. We are similar to smart phones, aren’t we? We send multiple signals that indicate we are stressed and in danger of shutting down. Some people become tearful, others get irritable, some experience physical ailments, others become easily distracted, some turn to harmful behaviors while others isolate. The common theme here is that signals are sent and we have an opportunity to pay attention and reduce the temperature before we shut down.
What are your unique signals that indicate your stress thermometer is rising? Are you paying attention to the warning signs? Are you ignoring them hoping they will go away? The healthy response is to make friends with these signals. Know what they are so if they arrive, you greet them like someone you’ve met before, “Oh hello headache, thanks for reminding me to take better care of myself. I’m taking a few deep cleansing breaths right now and later tonight I will take a walk followed by a long hot bath.” When we have insight, we can change our thoughts and change our behavior which will ultimately improve the outcome.
I used to get frightened by my recurring dream. Then for a time I reacted with anger and disappointment. I was angry that in my dream I didn’t turn to a fellow classmate and ask to borrow a pencil. I was disappointed that I didn’t prepare at all for the exam. But, then I finally made peace with all of that and focused on the lesson – “Oh, hello American History dream. We’ve met before. You are reminding me that I feel overwhelmed and unclear about what comes next. I will manage it all more effectively by prioritizing my obligations including making time for self-care. And despite your repeated visits in my dreams, I do pass American History.”
Need some suggestions on how to manage your stress? Watch this great three minute video with Methodist Healthcare associates sharing ways that they manage their stress.
If you would like to discuss productive ways to take care of rising stress levels or any other issues, please call us at 901-683-5658 to schedule your free, confidential appointment. At Methodist Healthcare EAP we are here for you and for all members of your household.
Donna DiClementi, LCSW, CEAP is Director of the Methodist Healthcare EAP. Donna received her Master’s degree in Social Work in 1989. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Certified Employee Assistance Professional. Her experience includes EAP, hospital psychiatric and medical social work, crisis services and private practice.