I never watched The Office but I can relate to Ed Helms’ character on the series finale when he said “I wish there was a way to know that you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them”. I have fond memories of time spent with my family and friends when we were younger, spontaneous, and carefree. It was easier to spend holidays with my family and plan vacations with close friends back then. Those visits have become few and far between since several of us live in different states now, focused on our own families and careers. We still manage to support each other through the joys and pains in life and enjoy the occasional “girls trip” but it takes much more effort and coordination. I’ve established other friendships since I moved to Memphis 18 years ago, but none quite as close as those.
My family and friends have always been an important part of my life, so when the opportunity to see several of their children graduate from high school in Florida and Texas this summer presented itself, I jumped at the chance. I decided to turn it into a 2-week family vacation for what I affectionately refer to as “graduation tour 2017”. Sure, I could have just sent a gift like some people suggested, but I wanted to be there to support them the way they were here for me and my family when my oldest son graduated several years ago. I had no idea that this trip would be the last time I would see my grandmother. She was admitted to the hospital the day after I arrived, so the trip was bittersweet. When I returned to Florida for her funeral one week later, I cried tears of joy and gratitude that I was able to share her last days. We celebrated her 90th birthday last November and I was honored to hold the microphone as she thanked everybody for attending her party. She was the matriarch of our family and celebrations won’t be the same without her. We’ve agreed to make more of an effort to continue our family traditions in her honor, and establish new ones to stay connected with each other.
I’ve learned to listen to the little voice inside that guides me in my decisions as I’ve gotten older. It’s always been there; it just speaks a little louder now. Life is precious and we don’t know how long we’ll have our loved ones in our lives, so we have to be present both physically and mentally. Those memories provide comfort in tough times and give us hope that brighter days are ahead. And, the little voice is reminding me that those good old days are the times we have right now.
Methodist Healthcare EAP offers free and confidential counseling to you and members of your household. Please call us today at (901) 683-5658 or toll free 1-800-880-5658 to schedule an appointment if you would like to address issues in your personal or professional life.
Karole Shorter is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Employee Assistance Professional with over 15 years of counseling experience. She earned her Bachelor’s in Social Work from Florida A & M University in 1995 and her Master’s in Social Work from Florida State University in 1998. She has been a counselor at Methodist Healthcare EAP since 2006.