Are you part of the 92% of people whose New Year’s Resolutions are dropped by mid-February? Want to do something different this year? Are you interested in making lasting, positive changes in 2018?
While well-intentioned, New Year’s Resolutions tend to fizzle out because when we choose them we are out of touch with the reality of our typical daily lives. Think about when we make these decisions – most of us are skidding to a halt on January 1 after surviving the long season of HalloweenThanksgivingHanukkahChristmasNewYearsEve (yes - that is one word). By the time we make New Year’s Resolutions, we are craving a carrot, lack sleep and are cutting up our credit cards. It is pretty easy to resolve to give up carbs, grab eight hours of shut-eye, and follow a budget. But like a rooster crowing in the early morning, when that box of donuts is put on the breakroom table it is hard to ignore.
Typically, resolutions are about stopping unhealthy habits in multiple aspects of our life. Let’s look at New Year’s Resolutions a bit differently. Rather than making a few goals that are hard to attain and then inevitably dealing with disappointment because we don’t keep them, let’s focus on what we can make happen in 2018. Let’s see it as an opportunity to refresh and refocus on positive changes and exciting adventures.
People who succeed in attaining their goals tend to break them up into meaningful categories. For example, we might want to address something in the following areas:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Financial
- Spiritual
Then in each of these categories, decide what you want to do to throughout the year to add joy and what areas need some loving attention. See what we are doing differently than simply making a typical New Year’s resolution? We are adding organization to our goals and language like “new opportunities”, “joy” and “loving attention”. These words are positive, encouraging and kind.
Here are examples of the old way and the new way in each category:
Physical –
Old Way - I will stop eating carbs in 2018.
New Way (with loving attention) – I choose to eat a bread product at only one meal per weekday (and two meals on the weekend 
). I will enjoy what I love eating and I will be mindful of making healthy choices.
New Way (adding joy) – I love being outdoors. I will schedule in my calendar a time to walk outside every week. The Greenline, Shelby Park and Big River Crossing are great outdoor options.
Emotional –
Old Way – I won’t raise my voice to my kids in 2018.
New Way (with loving attention) – My temper can flare sometimes but I know that with effort I can control it. I will be mindful of my emotions when situations get tense and pray, take ten deep breaths, count to 100, walk away until I calm down. I will reach out to schedule an appointment with EAP to learn more about how to control my reactions.
New Way (adding joy) - I will plan a long weekend with friends in the summer at the beach. I want to be intentional about carving out time to increase fun and adventure in 2018.
Financial –
Old Way – I will stick to a weekly budget in 2018.
New Way (with loving attention) – I have too much debt. I know that I can get a handle on this. I will stop using credit for routine or non-emergency purchases until balances are paid off. I will eat out only one evening meal per week and one lunch per week in order to save money to reduce my credit card debt.
New Way (adding joy) – I will research opportunities to give to organizations in need in the community. I will ask my family to participate in the research and together we can choose where we want to give our resources.
Spiritual –
Old Way – I have to attend religious services more often.
New Way (with loving attention) – Nurturing my faith is important to me and I want to strengthen that in 2018. I feel more connected spiritually when I attend services and participate in bible study. I will add these to my calendar every week this year.
New Way (adding joy) – I love to sing and will join the choir. I will meet different people, have fun and grow in friendships and in faith.
Let 2018 be the year that New Year’s Resolutions reflect loving choices we make to increase our quality of life. If you would like to talk about reaching your goals or any other issue, give the Methodist Healthcare EAP a call at 901-683-5658 to schedule your free, confidential appointment. We are here for you and every member of your household.
Happy new opportunities!
Donna DiClementi, LCSW, CEAP is Director of the Methodist Healthcare EAP. Donna received her Master’s degree in Social Work in 1989. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Certified Employee Assistance Professional. Her experience includes EAP, hospital psychiatric and medical social work, crisis services and private practice.