During January when we were all negotiating our way through snow and ice, were you extra careful while driving or walking? Guess what…you had an experience of being mindful! Mindfulness is no longer an exotic concept for many of us. There are many programs, Ted Talks, Podcasts and books that explain and extoll the effectiveness of showing up to moment by moment awareness instead of being consumed by past or future events and thoughts. Mindfulness can help us truly experience our lives rather than “phoning it in.” Mindfulness can mean attention to the moment, to others, to ourselves and to our deepest values.
Another word for mindfulness is presence. We live in a culture of distraction while what we really all long for is engagement and connection with others. Can you think of a recent meaningful conversation you have had with family, friends, coworkers? If so, you probably really listened to the person you were talking with and they listened too. And even better, you listened to what was not being said because you were emotionally available to pick up cues and meaning beyond their words. Texts, tweets and emails are often the way we communicate throughout the day but much is lost with these quick but often superficial approaches. Marshall McLuhan wrote that “the medium is the message” and when we mostly rely on these quick but incomplete ways to communicate, we may be missing much.
Being present to ourselves can also mean making better choices. I would imagine most of us buy our gas at places connected to a small convenience store or a larger grocery store. We are careful of what type of fuel we use. Yet many times we go into the grocery store and buy food that is not optimal for our health. We know our bodies and our health are more important than car maintenance. We will own many cars in our lifetime but have only one body to nurture and live in.
One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel.” I consider myself blessed and extremely fortunate that I saw and heard Maya twice. This woman was a force of nature and could communicate her passion and her tremendous desire to help all of us grow. Most of us do not have the powerful voice and regal bearing that she brought to her encounters but we can be authentic and transparent in small daily choices. We can choose to show up and bring awareness to this moment, to this person, to this situation. And if you know her story from “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”, you know that Maya was nearly mute for years after traumatic experiences. With the encouragement of a wonderful teacher she began to talk and became a “phenomenal woman”.
If you would like to learn ways to welcome every day and be deeply connected with yourself and others, please contact Methodist Healthcare EAP at 901-683-5658 to schedule a free, confidential appointment.
Susan Erdman has a master's degree in pastoral studies from Loyola University in New Orleans and a master’s degree in social work from the University of Tennessee in Memphis. She has worked as an EAP counselor since the 1990s. Before her work in the EAP, she was a mental health specialist at Methodist University Hospital in the eating disorder and dual diagnosis programs.